Independence Day:

As I grew older, I began to wonder what it would be like to cross the street without holding my mother’s hand. I wanted to run across the street and prove to her that I could cross it alone. However, my mother kept a firm grip on me. I yearned for the day when I would have the opportunity to cross it alone. At ten years old, I flirted with what was forbidden to me.

I wanted to explore how it would feel to be a little more independent. I wished I could complete my mission. I devised a plan to do so. ...I had never felt the way I felt when I crossed the street. For the first time I was my own person. I forgot that for so long I was like a tail that waged behind my mother. I knew that there was more to me. I had wants and desires that had nothing to do with being my mother’s daughter or my brother’s younger sister. Because I was a person that paid very little attention to the fact that I had Cerebral Palsy, I chose to take steps towards my independence. My ideas about myself extended beyond older brother and mother’s protective cocoon…The closer I got to the other side the freer I felt.

Smiling at Herself:

As a child I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a girl with frizzy curly hair that, no matter how much her mother tried to tame it, it would still stick up. I saw my ears as sticking out of my head like two satellite dishes. My nose wasn’t round, but pointy and it also stood out. It was too long for my face. My mother tried to convince me that there was nothing wrong with my ears or my nose. She called me “linda” (pretty), but I wasn’t convinced that I was “linda…” Even when I reached puberty I didn’t have any sense of being physically attractive. My body had developed into the body that I grew up admiring. Similar to my mother, I had developed a small waist and curvy hips which enhanced my petite frame…

I took pride in my body as I grew older and no longer looked at myself as inadequate. I even subscribed that I was “linda”. I learned to appreciate my physical attributes. I learned to love how my curvy petite frame looked in the clothes I wore. I wasn’t afraid to show off my shape by wearing tight jeans and a cute girlish top. I enjoyed being able to wear a short dress or skirt and show my toned legs from all the years of physical therapy and dancing with my mother. I no longer felt my nose was too big for my face. I felt that I grew into it and it matched up to all my other facial features. I looked at the color of my eyes and felt proud to have the same color of eyes as my father and Roberto. My eyes were light brown and were well define by lashes that were so long that they prevented my eyelids from being seen when I put on mascara. By simply batting them, my lashes could greet people before I ever said “Hi.” Every part of me was in the right place and I grew to smile at myself in the mirror!